A Letter to Discerners

Four years.  That’s how long I’ve been at this now, serving as Director of Vocations for the Roman Catholic Diocese of Portland, ME.  My task: to assist those who are discerning a call to the priesthood and religious life, particularly those men in the state of Maine called to serve our diocese as parish priests.

Who knows how many thousands of prayers and Masses have been offered in these last years for our future priests and religious and for those discerning.   I know I’ve had hundreds of conversations about the priesthood – conversations with every age, every demographic, every shape size and flavor of Catholic sitting in the pews.  And there have been hundreds more conversations with men and women who are discerning.

Lots of questions.  Lots of discussion.  And yet, as I think of the dozens of men and women who have been part of this conversation over the years, I feel the need to set down a few things in writing.  Far too often, especially when talking to someone discerning, things are left out of our conversation, interrupted, or simply too delicate or personal to bring up.  And sometimes a truth that sounds harsh on the tongue rests more easily on the ears through the pen.

The Universality of the Cross

A fundamental truth about life has been lost in our time, and its departure is impeding many of you who are trying to discern the voice of Christ.  The truth is this: seeking comfort, happiness and success for yourself will only lead you to misery and failure.  Full stop.  These goals are mere idols and mirages.  They are goals that embody a worldly perspective thoroughly opposed to Christ.  This truth should not need to be said, much less shouted, in a Christian culture.  The fact that we must today shows how deeply our faith has been eroded. And I must start with this truth because I am so aware of how many are being bamboozled by the allure of worldly prestige, comfort, and success, and of the pain they suffer and cause others to suffer when they act on this deception.  Selfishness is driving people mad - literally.  They need more and more anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication.  They are turning to prescription and non prescription drugs just to cope.

I say this, and we all nod.  But it never sinks in.  I just keep watching faithful Catholics not letting the rubber hit the road.  They keep on living like everyone else - they keep on putting their needs and desires first.  They keep on pretending that above all, Jesus wants to give them what they want.  And they keep on ending up miserable.

What will it take for Catholics to leave behind money and a career and social status so that they can help others earn money and succeed in their careers?  What will it take for Catholics to give up their own desires and needs for a wife and family so that they can be fully available to serve spouses and children and help them to grow and flourish?  What will it take for Catholics to let go of the power to determine where they go and what they do so that they are available to do what others need and go where others need them?  These are the evangelical counsels: the rubber hitting the road.  This is what it means to respond fully when Jesus says “If you wish to be perfect, sell what you have, give the money to the poor, then come follow me.”  This is what it means to embrace the radical call to sacrificial love that Christ offers to each of us.  What will it take for Catholics to wake up and follow this path that is not of this world and that leads to real and lasting joy?

And just in case you think that I am speaking of only priests and religious in this context, I am not.  I am most certainly not.  The evangelical counsels are for everyone, because joy and happiness and Christian perfection and heaven are for everyone.

When a Christian man or woman is called to marriage and family, his or her worldly success and career are placed entirely in service to the needs of a spouse and children.  If that means forgoing a promotion or other worldly gain to ensure the quality of life for the family there is no hesitation.  A husband or wife knows that in serving their spouse and the children they serve God.  This understanding is why Catholic spouses revere one another in body and soul and collaborate in bringing children into the world: they know that these actions have eternal ramifications, that in living a holy married life they are participating in the very life of God.  Each day they do what is needed for their nuclear family, and also the extended family and community – placing their needs last and pouring out their lives they seek to ensure that all those who are affected by their actions find in them a grace and blessing.  And in so doing they sanctify themselves and the world around them.

Christ teaches us that life is either offered or it is a catastrophe.  It is either given or it rots.  We either die to ourselves or we kill everything that is good in us and around us.  There are two paths, one that leads to death, the other to life.  The powers of this world can prop up a decadent stupor of pleasure and comfort for a time, deceiving us into thinking that “no one is getting hurt.”  But a life without sacrifice is a whitewashed tomb.  What looks alive is dead.  Hidden within is a deep misery, boredom, and frustration.

Discerners: your life is not a choice between a secular respected and comfortable married existence or a sacred derided, sacrificial priesthood or religious life.  No – do not let the world deceive you.  For what appears respected and comfortable in this world is either a mirage or a torment Christ does not wish upon any of his followers.  Derision and sacrifice are the building stones in the path of sacred joy Christ has paved for us all to follow as priests, religious, and laypersons alike.

I think of uncles and aunts of mine – at least a few families – who have children with serious disabilities.  How they care for them, and how they have found in their sacrifice a most sacred path to union with Christ!  I think of my siblings raising large families and the constant effort and strain of caring for the little ones and making sure they don’t kill themselves – and of the sacredness of their labors.  I think of the countless couples I have counseled through trials and challenges, mental and physical illnesses and torments, who have given up so many dreams and made so many sacrifices for one another in the sacred journey of marriage.  Beginning with the effort required for NFP, through the raising of children and serving others in the community, to the love of new extended family added through marriages of adult children, to the final days of caring for ailing spouses and relatives, sacrifice and struggle are inherent in marriage – and this is in the easiest of times.

Discerners: do you think you are choosing between some idyllic Walt Disney fairy tale marriage and a miserable and harsh priesthood or religious life?  Not if you follow Christ, you are not!  You cannot live a Christian marriage in our world without being required to lay everything of yourself on the altar of sacrifice, just as much as any priest or religious.  If your alternative to the priesthood or religious life is a self-satisfied life socializing with superficial friends, a doting spouse and “fur babies” who never challenge you, you are not serious about following Christ.  We die to ourselves in order to follow Christ – this is a universal requirement of baptism.  Everything in us that shrinks back from his offering comes directly from that pathetic and duplicitous coward Satan, who wants to drag us down into the horrific misery and pain that comes from a life comfortably and easily lived for oneself.

The Foundation of Discernment: Authentic, Sacrificial Love

When one loves, one gives.  And by giving, one manifests his or her love.  In our love for Christ, each us of is called to discern throughout life where and to whom to give ourselves.  Most people are called to offer their lives sacrificially as husbands and wives, as parents,  and through work and careers, discerning where they need to go and how they can best serve God and neighbor. 

But from the beginning of the Church there have always been some set apart and called to serve God in a different way, to offer their lives in a more universal manner – for the good of all.  By detaching themselves from legitimate goods of this world, these men and women follow the example of Christ in freeing themselves to point as clearly as possible to the Kingdom of God through acts of charity and devotion to God and neighbor.   Their form of sacrifice and their love is not opposed to the path of holiness that most men and women are called to, but is in service to it and complementary to it.  In embracing such a path, these men and women who are set apart for the priesthood and religious life do not increase their personal holiness, nor are they necessarily closer to God.  But through their witness and service, Christ cares for and unites himself more closely to all people, guiding them to his kingdom.  Priests and religious are set apart for the good of the Church and in service to the Church but are not necessarily closer to God than any other member of the Church, much the same way that a doctor who cares for the sick is not necessarily healthier than his or her patients.

What is the foundation of an authentic vocation to the priesthood and religious life?  Two loves: a great love for the human family and a great love of Jesus Christ.  When these two loves come together, a man or woman may often find that a desire begins to grow in his or her heart to offer his or her life in service to this beautiful and dynamic relationship between Christ and his people.  How exactly to serve in this way is often not clear from the beginning – although sometimes there are clear indications.  Jesus Christ continues to minister to his people by teaching them, by offering his life for them in the sacraments, and by serving them in their corporal and spiritual needs.  The various forms of religious life embody aspects of this continued ministry of Christ alive in the world. 

Among those called to service of the human family in the name of Christ are those who are ordained to share in the Apostolic ministry.  Bishops, priests, and deacons are directly entrusted with the sanctifying mission of Christ given to the Apostles: the offering of the Eucharistic sacrifice and the forgiveness of sins.  Not only are those who share in this apostolic ministry called to witness to Christ through their radical embrace of the evangelical counsels, but through the laying on of hands they are given the authority to speak in his name and act in his person in the celebration of the sacraments. 

Jesus instituted the priesthood because he wanted his people to be able to hear his voice and to see him act until he comes again.  The priesthood continues in a concrete and human way the very presence of Christ, incarnate among us in human flesh and blood.  For this reason, the Church has always revered the role of the priest – not because of the holiness of individual priests, as much as many have been holy, but because she sees in each priest the true High Priest, Jesus Christ, who continues to care for his flock.

A man who is called to the priesthood should find the awesome responsibility of the priest both intimidating and inspiring.  His courage in stepping forward and presenting himself as a candidate for Holy Orders must come not from any sense of spiritual superiority or worldly ambition, but out of a genuine love for the human family coupled with a deep faith in the power of Christ at work in the sacraments.  He knows that the sacraments, particularly the Eucharist, are the lifeblood of the Church, and so since he cares for the Church and for all people, he is willing to offer his life in service to that same sacramental ministry.  Again, it is love that motivates him to offer what he knows is needed most in our world: the saving work of Jesus Christ manifest in the flesh through the sacraments.

A Call and A Response

Your life and decisions matter.  They have consequences.  The grace of God is not given in vain – if he cannot work in you, Jesus Christ will move elsewhere, to one who will bear fruit.  The wedding banquet will go on, with or without the invited guests.  Jesus does not beg for disciples or force them to follow.  He chooses and calls, but he does not prod or push.  There are windows in life that are only open at certain times, and when they shut, they shut.  This goes for one’s education, career, dating and marriage, and certainly the priesthood and religious life too. 

What can God do through one good and holy person?  More than we can imagine.  And what if that person is a priest or religious?  Even more.  By virtue of consecration, a religious manifests and gives witness to the Kingdom of God in a powerful way that draws others to Christ.  By virtue of his ordination, a priest is given the full sacramental tool box in his work to help those who are seeking the face of Christ.  Certainly priests and religious do not possess every tool – there are many gifts given in the Church, and many of them are not given to priests or religious but are entrusted to other men and women, families and neighbors.  But it is clear beyond a doubt that the Church is enriched and strengthened through the lives of those men and women who serve humanity as dedicated religious.  And it is a foundational truth of the Christian faith that Christ continues to live, incarnate among us through the apostolic ministry of his priests. 

There are many ways to be of service in this world.  There are many ways to love.  Often, for a man or woman who is discerning, they find that they are choosing between goods, between offerings to bring to the altar.  What is God asking me to give?  What can I repay the Lord for his goodness to me?  What does the human family need in order to draw closer to God and live in his love?

For a follower of Christ who loves the human family and desires to give his or her life in its service, there are two questions: what is the need, and what can I offer?  In a world struggling as millions are dying of disease and illness, we need doctors.  Where there is a lack of good education and access to information, we certainly need teachers.  Where corruption and injustice are rife in society, virtuous lawyers and politicians are needed.  And there are countless other great social and other human needs that cry out asking for our ministry and service.  But can there be any doubt, particularly in the Western societies in our time, that there is a great and overwhelming need for spiritual ministry and care?  The steep rise of anxiety, depression, suicide, and other mental health struggles point to underlying spiritual causes.  The caustic political dialogue, anger and social discord point to a people who have lost their ability to see the face of God in one another.  The fracturing of families, the abandonment of the elderly, the scourge of abortion: these social ills all point to a culture that has lost its way and forgotten what it means to be human, forgotten the dignity of the human person.  And finally, the great secularization of the West and the confusion over the teachings of Christ and his Church.  These are all major spiritual problems in our culture that urgently call out to us, and call out to those who are discerning: “Do you love me?”  “Feed my sheep.”  Priests and religious are needed in the vineyard.  The harvest is so ripe and the laborers, particularly in the West, are so few. 

When we look at our gifts when we are young, most of us know that we could go in many directions.  As followers of Christ we know that we could offer our lives in many ways.  Is it not important to ask, when contemplating which path to follow, where the greatest need might lie, and whether we might be able to help in that very area?  Certainly, if there are limitations that would prevent us or gifts are needed that we do not possess, we should take this as a sign that we are called to serve the Lord and his people in another way.  But if, as we survey our world and look at our gifts, there is no obstacle that we can see – if it seems that we could be of spiritual service to the human family at this juncture – I ask you: what would prevent a man or woman from at least stepping forward and asking if perhaps the Church might not agree?  Is there any greater urgency in our time – in any time – than that of the spiritual life? 

If you have faith in Jesus Christ, if you know that you encounter him in the sacraments and scriptures and in the traditions of the Church, if you know that you can serve and think you may be able to teach and guide and lead with compassion and courage, if you see how many people are suffering in our world because of their spiritual poverty: do not be afraid!  Let the Holy Spirit put 2 and 2 together.  No, the world will not understand.  It has never understood and it never will.  But if you are a follower of Christ, the world will not understand you no matter what you do, because it did not understand him.  If you are going to follow Jesus Christ, follow him.  Don’t trip and stumble into your service, giving halfheartedly only after it is demanded of you.  Get on your knees and pray that the Holy Spirit set your heart afire with his love - a love of God and neighbor - and let the fire of that love burn and ache and drive you into service, come what may: everything given over to Christ, everything offered, everything gained.