Examining our Consciences

This Sunday’s Gospel serves as a kind of examination of conscience for us, does it not?

And this is good timing, as we are coming up to the season of Lent, a time when we dedicate more effort to rejecting sin and returning to God’s ways.  I encourage you to make the time in the coming weeks to really sit down and do a thorough examination of conscience and then go to confession.  I’d recommend not waiting until “The Light is on For You.”  Later in the season – better to start off lent with a clean slate – you can go again later if you want.

Today I would like to go over how we examine our consciences, since I think we don’t talk about this enough.  It is common to just be handed a list of the 10 commandments, perhaps with some additional categories, with the idea that we can figure out where to go from there.  But if we desire a more fruitful examine, one that will allow us to enter the confessional prepared and ready, I think we need to take a step back before comparing our lives to a list of infractions or sins, and reflect on the basic disposition, or approach that Christ invites us to adopt as we examine our moral lives.  And I would like to look at a few key aspects of this Christian approach with you today.

1.    The first thing to note is that Christians can and must begin any examination of conscience with trust and confidence in the love and mercy of God, and in our ability to change and be free of sin.  If we don’t have this trust and confidence, then examining our consciences can become incredibly discouraging, overwhelming and we can begin to feel trapped.  Our failures can feel like nails in the coffin, one blow after another to our confidence and dignity in a dismal rite of self-flagellation.  This is not what Christ would ever desire for us, and it is not edifying or fruitful in the spiritual life.

In examining our consciences, it is critical for us to remember the context of our moral lives: and the context is God’s grace at work in us.  He is at work in our hearts so that we can see where we are resisting him and help us to heal those areas and find new freedom to follow him and find peace and happiness.  We must start from a place of optimism, hopefulness.  Even sins and flaws that seem deeply rooted in our character or relationships that seem hopelessly mired in baggage can be healed and restored.  Jesus asks us to place everything before him with trust and confidence.  Even if we can’t see a way out, he can.  Grace can always find a way.

2.    With this confidence and trust in Christ at work in us, we are led to a place of humility as we examine what has happened and is happening inside and around us.  This means with the deep recognition that when I examine my conscience, it is not I who am the judge or the law giver, but that I am looking to Christ and asking him to help me understand how I am doing according to his judgement, not mine.  Often in a confessional a priest can hear when someone is simply not ready to allow Christ to be the judge.  They either want to condemn or to justify themselves.  They want to decide what is right and wrong.  Sometimes they carve out areas in the teaching of the church that don’t suit how they want to act, and try to excuse themselves.  Sometimes they  exaggerate areas of the Church’s teaching and condemn themselves on trivial grounds.  These are all traps laid for us by pride, when we are trying to take the place of God. 
Instead, a healthy examination of conscience starts with the recognition that there is a God, and it is not me.  He decides what is right and wrong, and he has revealed his wisdom in Christ, a wisdom that has been handed on to us faithfully by the Catholic and Apostolic Church.  Am I really willing to turn over the judgement to him?  Or am I trying to put myself on the judge’s bench?  What is keeping me from letting God be my judge?  Is it pride, unhealthy attachments, fear, anger or resentment?

3.    And this leads to a third element required for a fruitful examine: courage.  No one likes standing before a judge or being evaluated.  There is a deep vulnerability.  We know that we can be deeply hurt.  Our natural impulse before a judge is to defend ourselves, to play down our faults, to blame the other guy, to make excuses.  It requires incredible courage to stand before a judge and not only admit the contradictions and flaws in our lives, but to list them out and to make the case against ourselves.  Yet that is what confession asks of us, isn’t it?  Not only that we plead guilty, but that we take up the role of prosecutor and list out all the charges.  We need to be honest about how hard this is and how unnatural it is. 

Especially when we have really blown it, I think we can say that it is only by God’s grace that we find the strength to really and truly confess our sins with trust and humility.  Yet let us remember that there is great dignity and strength in such a confession.  By stepping forward, before the judge, and speaking the wrong we have done, we are given a deep and abiding peace and strength that we could not receive if we were simply judging ourselves.  And think about how this affects us over time – month after month, year after year.  After 30 or 40 or 60 or 70 years of this routine of placing our lives before the judgement seat of God, we gain an incredible amount of confidence and strength in our connection to God.  Coming to the end of life and our final judgment will not be anything new if we have been examining our consciences and going to confession for years. “Here we go again.”  We know the judge and we know his mercy.  We’ve been standing before him our whole life.

4.    Finally, as we examine our consciences, it is so important to do so in the awareness of a deep and abiding love for God and one another.  For this reason, it may be helpful to begin the examine by first thinking of all the ways that God has loved us and all the grace that surrounds us in the people and events of our lives.  As we survey this incredible canvas filled with good things, from the gift of life itself to the many blessings that continue to unfold each day, we are given the proper perspective to see our sins and weaknesses for what they are.  Seeing the invitation of God’s love for us reveals where we have grown weak or lazy, or where we are running and hiding, or resentful or destructive. 
Far more than fear of hell or guilt, the knowledge of God’s loving care for us gives rise to the desire to love in return: to get rid of the aspects of our lives that are destructive and impeding the love that is shown us and to instead return good for good.  Love for God and gratitude toward him is the strongest and most dependable foundation to build our moral lives upon.  This love and gratitude is what gives us the strength to stand before the judgement seat of God again and again, examining where we are resisting his will and or have grown tepid in following him.  Our knowledge of his love and goodness is what makes us what to come back, to set things right, and to stay close to him.

When we examine our consciences regularly in a healthy way: with trust and confidence, with humility, with courage, and with an awareness of God’s great love, our inner lives and connection to God grows and matures.  Over time, this routine changes us and transforms us.  We do not see ourselves or live like those who look to the world for judgement, or who place themselves in the seat of judgement.  Others can tell in small unspoken ways that we hold ourselves accountable to something, or rather, someone else.  Perhaps one of the most defining things for a Christian is that he or she acknowledges the full divine authority of Jesus Christ as lawgiver and judge, over and above any other power or force in this world.  This deep experience that God alone judges us, reinforced through years of examining our consciences before him, is at the source of what gives joy and freedom to the Christian heart.  For we know that our judge is a just and loving God, full of mercy and compassion, who comes not to condemn but to save.

“Father, I know you’re so busy…”

 “Father, I know you’re so busy…” This is a common sentiment these days, not helped by the recent news of priests feeling overworked and overstretched.  In my own diocese recent months seem to give evidence of the miserable plight of priests, as a few of our brothers have requested personal or medical leaves.  Their departures are deeply felt by parishioners, who many times voice their concerns about how the current state of priestly life seems to be a burden hard to bear.  They are concerned.  They want their priests to be healthy and happy.  I want that too.  But I am not sure that most of us really have a handle on what is going on and why priests are under strain.

The common culprit named is basically administrative overload.  The problem seems fairly obvious: we don’t have enough priests and they are being stretched very thin over many different communities and with so much administrative responsibility that they no longer are able to do the rewarding ministry they are ordained to do with any peace or excellence.  Basically, that they have become burnt out ecclesiastical bureaucrats – too much miserable administrative work to do without enough time or resources.

There is some merit to this concern.  The bureaucratization of just about every structure of society from health care to education to the government sector is a phenomenon that many of us face each day and that certainly does make life less productive and enjoyable.  But it is not unique to the Church.  And I do not think that it accounts for the lion’s share of what truly bothers priests. 

I am going to make a bold claim here:  I don’t think that what is making priests unhealthy and burdened is burnout, at least in the classic definition of burnout due to being overworked and overstretched.

First of all, there is no real evidence of this from the priests who leave active ministry.  We had a presentation at a clergy institute in our diocese a number of years ago by Fr. Stephen Rossetti, director of the St. Luke Institute, a facility that ministers to unhealthy priests.  He told us that in the past, following commonly held views in the field of psychology, they had instructed priests to avoid burnout in ministry by making sure not to neglect their human needs: to take regular days off, engage in non-ministerial activities and relationships, and to generally avoid workaholism.  These were real problems for priests, he acknowledged, but after many years in the field he related to us that they were not usually the major problems of priests who left active ministry.  Priests who left active ministry demonstrated some very clear characteristics: they stopped praying, they isolated from brother priests, they stopped engaging in priestly ministry except as absolutely required.  In other words, they became secularized.

And this gets to the heart of my point.  What is weighing on priests more than anything today is not the amount of work we have to do, but the secular world and church in which we do it.  Let me make my point:

I do not know any priests who have become burnt out because they had so many people in RCIA that they had to teach and prepare.  I do not know any priests who are stressed and overwhelmed because they cannot figure out how they are going to baptize all the babies each week and pay for all those baptismal candles.  I do not know any priests who are stressed because they can’t figure out where to put all the sacred art being created or what venues to use for all the sacred music being performed.  I do not know any priests who are overwhelmed and frustrated by their chancery’s mandates about care in the celebration of Mass and the administration of sacraments and wish they would just focus on finances.  I do not know any priests who have so many people banging down their doors to have them over for dinner or to their organization's event or to some other important social occasion that they are overwhelmed. 

Let me give you a metaphor for priestly ministry today:
Let’s consider a man who spends his whole young adult life studying medicine.  He specializes in the field of cancer treatment.  Why?  Because he has a deep personal commitment to ending the scourge of lung cancer.  He grew up in a community known for great marathon runners, some going on to win international races.  Yet he also watched how some of them became addicted to smoking and saw those dreams melt away and eventually descend into the horror of lung disease.  He knows the incredible capability of the healthy human body, and he also knows how that health can be destroyed.  For this reason, he has chosen to dedicate his life to studying and treating lung cancer. 

Now this doctor grew up in a community where smoking was not particularly common, and certainly not common at all in the medical community.  It was openly discouraged and quite a scandal, in fact, if a health care worker was known to smoke.  Everyone knew and respected the dangers.   And this was pretty much the case everywhere across the country and even generally in the world.  The danger of smoking to your health was known, accepted, and promoted.

But then something began to change.  There were a number of very influential medical “experts,” with questionable motives, who began in various ways to cast doubts on the harm of smoking, and specifically on its causal link to lung cancer.  They were well funded by the tobacco industry, and they were very smart and calculating.  They were able to get into the major influential sectors of society: public education, the media, colleges and universities, and the legal community.  They portrayed those doctors and medical professionals opposed to smoking as old men who practiced medieval medicine and were just trying to hold onto their positions of control and power.  They began to make converts within the medical community itself.  Suddenly, it almost seemed like overnight, even medical professionals were advocating for the right to smoke and getting on talk shows to speak about the harm of smoker shaming.  Signs were going up everywhere talking about the incredible health benefits of smoking, and about how smoking brings people and society together. 

When this doctor went out for a walk, smoke was always in the air.  He was offered a cigarette in almost every social setting, even at conferences for medical professionals.  When he refused, he was looked at as judgmental and old fashioned.  And if he asked about or brought up the horrific spike in deaths due to lung cancer or other smoking related illnesses, he was either directly told that he was being an alarmist or he was quietly pushed to the side and ignored.  Even in his own family, his own close friendships, he was constantly surrounded by smoke.

Now there were some people who, like the doctor, were entirely opposed to smoking.  Many of them had lost loved ones to lung cancer or had emphysema themselves.  They personally knew that all the propaganda, even if embraced by the vast majority of society, could not be true.  Yet they had a very difficult time organizing and gaining any momentum because of their lack of funding and access to social influence.  They would get together at various times for support and to advocate for an end to smoking, but the doctor also found these gatherings difficult because so much of what brought them together was pain: the pain of losing a loved one to cancer or living with a horribly debilitating disease.  It was very challenging for their gatherings not to descend into a tirade about the horrific tobacco industry or a litany of social ills caused by smoking.  So many of those who came together were wounded and suffering and not in a position to really advocate for real reform or to be a living example of physical health.  Each week the doctor would speak about the joy of running marathons and being in good physical health, but he found that so many non-smoking advocates were more united by their hatred of smoking than by their desire for healthy lungs.  He realized that they hardly remembered what healthy lungs felt like, and that he himself was losing his memory of healthy living.  The second-hand smoke they were inhaling each day was having a tremendous impact.

Now, at the same time, there was a huge medical malpractice revelation about doctors who had been harvesting lungs from healthy patients to use for lung transplants into smokers and making huge profits from the sale.  This doctor knew that all of these so-called “doctors” had really been frauds who were smokers themselves and were bought and paid for by the industry, but they wore the same white jacket that he did.  And so the doctor found himself now suspect in many social settings, as front pages constantly carried stories about doctors who were being arrested and hospitals being sued for vast sums of money.  Ironically, no one seemed to connect the dots between the smoking culture and the scandal.  Instead, there was a gradual lessening of trust and confidence in the medical profession, and people started to favor very questionable smoking wellness centers and other forms of alternative medicine.  These institutions were often bought and paid for by the tobacco industry and either encouraged smoking or enabled it, focusing on cosmetics and plastic surgery. 

The lack of patients and constant lawsuits caused significant budgetary constraints in the hospitals.  In addition, fewer and fewer people entered medical school, favoring instead the easier and more esteemed path to certification in alternative medicine.  The doctor found himself with more and more patients and with fewer and fewer resources.  All the while, the number of patients with lung cancer and other lung diseases continued to climb.

Alright – I think I’ve pressed the analogy as far as I can.  A priest is a doctor of the soul.  His life is dedicated to the spiritual well-being of his people.  Today, that spiritual well-being is under threat.  All one needs to do is look at the numbers surrounding mental health and addiction.  They are skyrocketing.  Suicide and other “deaths of despair,” such as overdose and deaths due to addiction or psychological crisis, have caused the mortality rate in the United States to decline for the first time that we know of.  The smoke of secularism is everywhere, hard for priests themselves not to breathe in and absorb.  And the credibility of the Church as a whole and of priests in particular has taken an enormous hit due to scandal. 

What stresses priests and makes them unhealthy is an unhealthy, secular world.  A world that doesn’t care about God or about walking in his ways.  A world that does not understand or appreciate lives dedicated to God, particularly vowed to God in celibacy and obedience.  A world that is more obsessed with sports events than Mass, more interested in the fictional lives of Netflix characters than the lives of the saints.  A world where even in the Church there is far too much concern with money and fitting in to secular social norms than with spreading the gospel and ministering to those in need. 

This is what stresses out priests.  It is not burnout from too much work, but a kind of rusting out from the lack of constructive work.  I wish we had more baptisms, more weddings, more funerals, more classes.  I would love to build a church or a school or a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen.  I would love to have so many men banging down the door, begging to be priests that I was just running from one appointment to the next, swamped with paperwork while trying to get them all into the seminary.  Constructive work is life-giving.  Growth is life-giving.  It is hopeful and joyful. 

What weighs on me, and what I believe is weighing on just about every Catholic at this point to greater and lesser degrees, is the decline of faith and rise of secularity.  It is the struggle to be faithful to Jesus Christ when that very faith is being consistently undermined around you and even in the very institutions that are supposed to be strong. 

Making this point, my goal is not to make everyone depressed or to elicit a wave of compassion for priests.  It is only to give clarity to what I think is actually going on so that we don’t mis-diagnose the situation and end up making things worse. 

My case has been that priests and Catholics as a whole are struggling, not because of earthly limitations or burdens, but because of a spiritual poverty in our time.  When we understand this, it is clear that our response cannot be to change the earthly structures or try to gain additional earthly resources.  We have tried this for the last number of decades and it does not work.  Secularism is a spiritual problem, a spiritual poverty.  And so it must be fought with spiritual weapons.  We know what these are because they are the most ancient weapons of the Church, given to us by Christ, who instructed us that in the most difficult of cases what is especially needed is prayer and fasting.

And so what do I propose instead of the changing of structures and disciplines and other earthly approaches?  First of all, the response cannot be limited to the hierarchy and hierarchical structures.  It must involve us all, because the smoke of secularism has entered into the whole Church from top to bottom.  And what do we all need?  1: to be diligent in prayer.  2: to study the faith.  3: to go on retreat or pilgrimage.  4. to find other people to pray, study, and go on retreat or pilgrimage with.  5. to make small and great sacrifices for Christ.  These practices might seem like an abdication or flight from the world.  After all, there is so much work that must be done.  But the problem is that there will be no work done if we are all secular.  There will be no one left to do the work.  If all the doctors are sick, what happens?  The Church needs to get well.

I think it is fairly clear that the Church is drastically underestimating the power of secularism on our world and on herself.  She does not seem to understand that her children are being secularized right out from under her bosom – millions and millions each year.  Bishops and priests as well – we are all so preoccupied with the secular world and secular things.  We must admit that, for being Christ’s followers, we have horribly neglected a focus on real and authentic prayer, study of sacred things, and direct service to the poor and needy.  There are a handful of dedicated people that are carrying an awful lot, but the vast majority of clergy and laity are simply not focused on Christ and living out his will each day.  We have become secular, worldly people in a secular, worldly Church.  That is why baptisms are tanking, sacramental marriages are tanking, and Mass attendance is tanking.  We just don’t care enough about Jesus Christ and following him. 

Administrative restructuring will not fix a problem of stony hearts.  Lessening the responsibilities and obligations on the priest will certainly not help, particularly any undermining of celibacy.  Celibacy points to heaven in a way that few things do.  That is precisely why we need it all the more today.  We need anything that points us to heaven.  Because we are living in a world that barely knows it exists.  What is required today is repentance, prayer and sacrifice: from top to bottom.  Only this repentance and a renewed taking up of the cross of Christ will allow us to regain the vitality and joy that come from the Gospel fully alive. 

That They May Be One

I was filling in for a pastor at a small parish church a couple summers ago.  The immigration debate had heated up with Trump’s recent election, and our bishop had recently put out a statement which was referenced by the local pastor in that week’s bulletin.  Being the visiting priest, I did not think it would be appropriate to wade into such politically charged waters without knowing the people better, so I did not address the issue in the homily, but instead gave a short statement after the prayer following communion.  I basically said “This is a charged topic.  It is tempting to stay out of the debate.  However, the Church does have something important to contribute to the discussion.  This contribution cannot be summed up in a couple of talking points, because it is nuanced.  Please read up on what the Church teaches so that you can be ambassadors of the full Catholic position in the public square.”

I figured that my words would be acceptable even to the most partisan, since I had not taken a position other than to say that our faith needed to dialogue with the issue.  I was mistaken.  On the way out of church, I was confronted first by an angry man who was frustrated that I had not spoken about the importance of maintaining borders and of the lawlessness that was happening on the border.  Then, almost immediately after he finished scolding me, I was accosted by a lady who was very angry that I had not advocated for those who were being victimized at the border and for the injustice being perpetrated on the poor and vulnerable.

I came away from the Mass feeling a sense of tension but also of peace, thinking that I must have done a decent job explaining, since I took hits from both sides of the political spectrum.  It seemed to me appropriate and healthy that the teaching of the Church could not be claimed by either political extreme, but was unsettling to both.  Yet, as I have reflected on that experience, and on countless other experiences as a priest teaching the faith over these last years of hyper-partisan politics, I have become less and less comfortable with our current state of affairs. 

For a time, I thought that the lack of a cohesive Catholic vote in the United States was a good sign: a sign that the Church was not beholden to any political interest.  It made sense to me that Catholics should not be at home in either political party, since our teaching is not at home in either party.  Thus, the relatively stable split of the Catholic vote and political affiliation seemed to me healthy.  And, I think like many bishops, priests, and others teaching the faith, I assumed that my role as a helpful guide to the Catholic faithful was to alternately make those of both political leanings uncomfortable, refusing to be pinned down by one side of the partisan divide or the other.  One week preach on abortion, the next week preach on immigration; promote the Church's vision of marriage at one table and care for the poor at the next.  At the red Mass or the blue Mass make sure that representatives from both political parties are in attendance.  This seemed to be rising above the political fray: showing the people in the pews that there was a different, non-partisan criteria informing how the Church came to positions on social teaching.  My hope was, as I think it has been for many priests, that in straddling the political divide we were pointing the way to the Gospel.

I have come to doubt this approach.  Why?  Because straddling the divide is not getting to the root of the problem.  It is a band-aid approach, dealing with the symptoms, rather than the cause of division among Catholics in the pews.  Week after week, I am increasingly preaching to democrats and republicans who are Catholic, rather than Catholics who are democrats or republicans.  Their politics comes first, and their faith follows.  The evidence is overwhelming: how many republican Catholics dissent from Church teaching on abortion compared to democrats?  How many democrat Catholics dissent on the death penalty compared to republicans?  As a priest, I can tell what part of the Gospel someone will most likely struggle to embrace as soon as I know their political affiliation, and the more strongly they hold that political affiliation, the more likely they are to reject Church teaching that is a challenge to it.  More than any other factor: race, gender, ethnicity, background – the most clear indicator of how a Catholic will receive the gospel is their political affiliation – and this is at every point along the political spectrum.

The recognition of this fact makes this next point incredibly clear: a huge chunk of people in the pews on Sunday are not followers of Christ first and foremost, but followers of earthly powers and tribes.   Whether they realize it or not, they are worldly people who are looking to the Church to back up their worldly views.  They want to justify their three houses?  Then the priest should preach on the horror of abortion and leave out economic justice.  They want to feel good about their son or daughter’s gay marriage?  The priest should hammer immigration and leave out any sexual teaching.  While they may think that they are are looking to Jesus to be the foundation for their lifestyles, they are actually seeking for him to be their justification.  Insofar as the Church channels that justification, they consider it to be channeling Jesus Christ, because for them Jesus Christ is the justification and salvation of the lifestyle that they chose, whether it is based on his teachings and witness and lived in harmony with his Holy Spirit or not.  

To these worldly Catholics, bishops and priests who attempt to straddle the political fence just look weak.  Both sides consider such straddling to be making unnecessary and even dangerous compromises with the other side that undermine the justification they find in the gospel.  That is why they tend to gravitate to bishops or priests who embrace more partisan positions, considering them to be more faithful to the “true message of Christ,” which is, of course, the one that aligns with their political beliefs.  Ironically, from this perspective, bishops and priests who refuse to be pigeon holed or to take partisan sides are considered weak and political.  How often I have heard the sentiment "If only they would 'tell it like it is'." – i.e., align the Gospel strictly to a partisan political paradigm. 

But the Church is not a worldly endeavor.  And it most certainly is not a weak or passive endeavor.  People often point to Jesus as remaining above the political fray  - not choosing sides, not endorsing any leader.  As if he were politically neutral, someone whose message transcended politics by acknowledging the good on all sides.

But I would submit that on closer study, nothing could be further from the truth.  Jesus transcended politics by undermining all of it.  He didn’t straddle fences, he destroyed them.  He didn’t bridge the partisan divide, he flooded both banks with a new revelation that washed away every earthly political structure.  He declared war on politics, on earthly powers, on tribalism, on ideology, on every human endeavor to lord authority over another, every claim to earthly sovereignty.  He undermined it all, claiming universal authority over all people, every time, and every place.  He made clear that his Word was the criteria by which every other word should be judged, his teaching the foundation of every authentic teaching, his life, the source and summit of every human life.  And that is why every political party of his time rose up against him.  Because of his claim to divine authority.

How can we not conclude, looking at the political divide that has infiltrated our pews, that the overwhelming majority of Catholics do not believe in the divine authority of Jesus Christ and his Church.  If they did, than how could the greatest predictor of their acceptance of his authority in their lives be their earthly political affiliations?

The reason that there is barely a “Catholic vote” in this country is because our people are barely aware of what it means to be Catholic: to acknowledge the universal authority of Jesus Christ over every earthly principality and power, every lifestyle and ideology.  To acknowledge, in short, that he is the Word made Flesh, light from light, true God from true God. To look to him for the most fundamental answers about life and death, happiness and tragedy, love and war.  To speak to him as much as we would speak to a friend.  To know his teaching as it has been handed on to us better than any other area of knowledge and certainly better than we would know trivial things like sports statistics or plot-lines for netflix series.  To wake up and go to bed concerned primarily with discerning his will each day and following it as best we can.

So many of us are sick of the political divide.  Frustrated with the constant partisan nonsense.  And how many of us have a deep awareness that the tribalism of our day will lead to social conflict without something inherently new and different entering the equation. There will be no political solution – there is no political entity that can bridge the gap.  Something else must change in our society if we are to find unity and peace.  We need a new source of unity that transcends every earthly power.

The Church has been given that source of unity: he is called Jesus Christ.  Catholics need to go to him, learn from him, follow him.  They need to seek his ways each day in acts of charity and selflessness, giving their lives over to him, dying to themselves so that he can be alive in them.  The Catholic Church must be more and more able to say with St. Paul “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.”  We must be truly converted, placing every perception, belief, and action before the authority of Jesus Christ and being obedient to his will.  Making of our hearts a dwelling place for his Holy Spirit to move freely and joyfully, leading us from one act of love to the next. 

We know what that looks like: it means observing the commandments, regular reception of the sacraments, and the living of a holy life.  It is not a mystery, but a pattern exhibited in the life of every saint and placed before every Catholic at their baptism.  A pattern that undermines politics in the Church and in our hearts, replacing earthly partisan struggle with a deep love for Christ our sovereign king, for his creation, and for every person he has made.  

What Should Happen, and Not Happen, in Spiritual Direction

A spiritual director can be an incredible help to a man or woman who is working to grow in holiness and knowledge of the spiritual life.  Particularly in critical junctures or moments of trial, spiritual direction can provide important support and guidance to sustain us and help us to not lose our bearings.

Yet it is also the case that spiritual direction can go wrong and actually complicate and compromise the faith of the directee.  Not all who promote themselves as spiritual directors are actually capable of offering good spiritual direction.  

There is no list of "approved" spiritual directors, no accrediting organization, no professional association, and no real accountability process that exists within the Catholic church for those offering spiritual direction.  The most common way that a person connects with a spiritual director outside of a seminary or religious institution of formation is through personal referral or by encountering the director in a parish, retreat, or other pastoral setting.  This referral and encounter system means that the individual seeking direction must be able to discern for themselves whether a given spiritual leader is a competent director and a good fit for them.  And this is where I think we are not providing adequate guidance.  Because it is not always easy to tell whether someone is capable of providing helpful spiritual direction.  

In this brief post I will go over the following considerations:

     - Should I have a Spiritual Director?

     - What Qualities Should I look for in a Spiritual Director?

     - What Should Happen in Spiritual Direction?

     - What Should Not Happen in Spiritual Direction?

Should I have a Spiritual Director?

This is really the first question.  And the answer is that for most Catholic men and women, while they will need spiritual guidance and support throughout life, only a few will need a formal spiritual director, and usually during brief and temporary circumstances.  In a healthy Catholic community there are many sources of spiritual guidance and support that are available throughout life.  Parents, grandparents, spouses, Catholic friends and relatives, parish priests, religious, and other wise and virtuous people are usually more than capable of providing us with the guidance and support that we need throughout life.  The regular life of the parish is meant to provides us with spiritual guidance and support, as we are nourished each week at Mass through the scripture and preaching and the reception of the Eucharist, and as we are given counsel and strength in the Sacrament of Confession.  Retreats and small faith sharing groups can augment these foundations, along with online, radio, and print resources.  Particularly helpful are one on one conversations with trusted relatives and friends of deep faith with whom we can freely discuss what is going on in our lives and receive counsel and support.

These normal ways that we receive spiritual guidance and support from our Catholic community are usually more than adequate in sustaining us in our journey toward holiness.  Yet there are some circumstances where additional guidance makes sense for a lay person in the more formalized setting of spiritual direction for a given period of time.  Normally, such guidance would be sought when navigating circumstances or decisions that would require special expertise and knowledge of the spiritual life.  There is no clear list of such circumstances or decisions, but they could include:

     - Guidance after being received into the Church as an adult (mystagogy).

     - Assistance in the discernment of a vocation to the priesthood or religious life.

     - Help in navigating engagement, marriage and family dynamics involving matters of faith.

     - Assistance with questions and crises regarding faith.

     - Spiritual support when employed by the Church.

     - Guidance for those seeking growth in contemplative prayer.

In the above circumstances, the support of regular spiritual direction can be of great assistance.  Meetings with the director should be scheduled at regular intervals (usually monthly), in a pastoral setting, of a determined length, and focused on the particular circumstances the directee is seeking guidance in navigating.  If the reason for spiritual direction involves a personal or family crisis, the spiritual director will often also refer the directee for counseling - individual, marital, or family.  

Generally speaking, the normal mode of growth in holiness and the spiritual life for a Catholic does not involve a formal director - directee relationship; however, there are a number of circumstances where formal spiritual direction can be helpful.  

What Qualities Should I Look for in a Spiritual Director?

As mentioned above, there is no formal qualification for one to offer spiritual direction in the Catholic Church.  This lack of formalized designation of spiritual directors points to the central truth that holiness and pastoral competence cannot be measured on a standardized test.  Even ordination to the priesthood or consecration to religious life does not guarantee that one is suited to provide spiritual direction to others.  

So what should one look for in a spiritual director?  What qualities are necessary in a man or woman in order for them to provide formalized spiritual direction to others?  Again, there is no defined list, but in general a Catholic should look for the following qualities in any spiritual director:

     - Faithfulness in prayer and reception of the sacraments.

     - Maturity and stability of life.  

     - Wisdom and insight about the world, human nature, and social dynamics.

     - Knowledge and full acceptance of the teachings of the Catholic Church.

     - General knowledge of the Catholic mystic and spiritual tradition and great saints. 

     - Experience and understanding of spiritual direction.

     - Basic pastoral counseling and listening skills.

     - A desire for holiness and manner of life that does not contradict Church teaching.

A spiritual director does not need to be a saint, though certainly the saintlier the better!  Neither does the spiritual director need to be an ancient, wise person, though the more wisdom the better.  Spiritual directors can be priests, religious, deacons and lay persons.  Priests are required to do extensive study and engage in pastoral ministry in preparation for ordination.  It is important that any religious or lay persons offering spiritual direction have extensive study in theology and pastoral experience as well.  There are various courses and other kinds of training that sometimes claim to give degrees or certificates in spiritual direction, but these carry little weight with regard to how capable a person is of providing helpful and faithful spiritual direction.  The main thing to seek out is someone who has a thorough knowledge and understanding of the Catholic faith, lives according to it themselves,  and has experience in helping others to live it.

It is not enough for a spiritual director to be holy or devout.  Just because a person is able to walk their own path to Christ well does not mean that they will know how to guide others.  For this reason, I would advise against seeking out a spiritual director who has had very limited experience in working with others in a pastoral or spiritual setting.  Generally for priests and/or religious I think it is a good idea for them to wait a few years after ordination/final profession before directing others.  For lay persons it may be even later in life before they are able to gain the needed theological, spiritual and pastoral experience required to direct others.

In the case where a person is discerning the priesthood or religious life, I would highly recommend a spiritual director who has personal experience of this process of discernment.  Someone discerning the priesthood should find a priest for a spiritual director.  One who is discerning religious life, a religious from the community that they are considering, if possible, and if not, a religious of a different order.  

I would also recommend staying as locally as you can.  There will be less explaining, less assuming, and less confusion if the spiritual director is familiar with the area and culture where you live.  It can be difficult to find capable spiritual directors, but generally a director is more likely to agree if it is clear from the outset that the direction will not be for an indefinite period of time. 

That being said, it is better to drive further than to settle for spiritual direction that is not helpful.  If you are meeting once a month, which is the common practice, a drive of even over an hour may be worth it if you are able to benefit from good spiritual direction.

What Should Happen In Spiritual Direction?

It is important for a person seeking out spiritual direction to have an understanding of what to expect.  While certainly there is a lot of variation among spiritual directors as to how they engage those they are directing, there are also certain standards and practices that anyone seeking formal spiritual direction within the Catholic Church can and should expect.

Initial inquiry.  After referral or encountering a possible spiritual director, the person seeking direction should email or call the public number of the potential director to set up a meeting to discuss their state in life and the possibility of spiritual direction.  In some cases, it may be that the first number of potential directors you reach out to are unwilling or unable to meet, or simply don't return calls or emails.  This may indicate that they are simply disorganized, but it may also indicate that providing spiritual direction is not a particularly important priority.  A busy pastor or religious superior may be difficult to schedule.  It is up to you to discern whether it is worth working around their busy lives.  If they are particularly insightful and prayerful, it might be worth it.  Don't settle.  Wide open availability may not always be a good sign.  Those who are capable are often in high demand.  The main thing is to try to nail down a first meeting.  

First meeting(s).  The first meeting with a potential director is very important.  Meetings should last no more than an hour - maybe an hour and a half at most.  During the initial meeting, one can expect to discuss what is happening in his or her life that has prompted the request for spiritual direction and  expectations for such spiritual direction.  This discussion should happen without any expectation of future meetings, so that both the directee and director can decide together if spiritual direction makes sense.  If both agree that they seem to be able to communicate well and that spiritual direction could be fruitful, rather than set up an indeterminate meeting schedule in the first meeting, such as the first ____ of every ____, I would highly recommend setting a specific number of meetings concluded with an evaluative discussion about next steps.  For example, if a person were seeking out spiritual direction because of a crisis in faith, it would be reasonable to agree to meet monthly for three months and then to evaluate how things were going and if spiritual direction were still needed.  In the case of potential longer-term spiritual direction, such as of a person discerning the priesthood or religious life, it would be wise to agree to meet for a couple months and then to have a discussion as to whether both director and directee were comfortable with how things were going.  It is very important that spiritual direction begin and end naturally and transparently, without the awkwardness of one party or the other wondering what is going on.  A director should be able to communicate with you clearly about his or her expectations and goals in spiritual direction.    

Frequency of meetings.  As mentioned above, a common frequency of spiritual direction meetings would be once a month.  In crisis circumstances, there may be a temptation to meet more frequently, but my contention would be that often in such circumstances what is needed is the addition of counseling, rather than additional spiritual direction.  Monthly is a general guide - it may be three weeks some months, and five others.  It is important that meetings are scheduled and that both director and directee are faithful to meeting times.  The easiest method is to schedule the next meeting time at the end of each meeting.  If progress has been made and both agree that meetings are not needed or possible with as much frequency, a meeting could be set two or even three months distant to check in.  I would make sure, however, that meetings don't just peter out.  If it is determined by both that there is no longer need for formal spiritual direction - for example, after six months of meeting following a directee's entrance into the Church at Easter - it is important that both acknowledge the conclusion of spiritual direction so that no one is left wondering.  I have seen many cases where director or directee misses a scheduled meeting, and then both spend the next year in passing discussions promising to set up another meeting, before letting the arrangement awkwardly fade away.  This is not a good way to end direction.  Far better to have a concluding meeting, say what needs to be said, exchange thank yous and move on without vague expectations hanging over anyone.

Confidentiality and transparency.  The spiritual direction relationship is predicated on the expectation of both transparency and confidentiality.  The most rigorous level of confidentiality in the Church is the seal of the confessional.  The confidentiality of spiritual direction is a close second to the confidentiality of the confessional, as what is shared is considered "internal forum."  The director is expected to keep everything divulged within spiritual direction confidential, although some important qualifications are necessary.  Unlike the confessional, the director can and often should make reference to previous spiritual direction discussions and revelations during subsequent meetings with the directee.  Also unlike the confessional, the spiritual director is not bound to confidentiality with regard to mandatory reporting laws that would involve the abuse of minors or threat of harm to others or to oneself.  Finally, the spiritual director can acknowledge being a particular person's spiritual director, when and where meetings having taken place, and whether he or she has ended the spiritual direction relationship.  Beyond this information, strict confidentiality is expected by the Church of spiritual directors.

Prayerfulness.  The expectation of any spiritual direction relationship in the Church is that it is led by the Holy Spirit and proceeds under his guidance.  It should therefore be the clear expectation of anyone seeking spiritual direction that their meetings begin and end in prayer and are focused primarily on the experiences that the directee has had in prayer.  Prayer is the grist required for the "mill" of spiritual direction.  Without active prayer lives in both the director and directee, there will be no life of the Spirit to discuss in their meetings.  It is therefore critical that one seeking spiritual direction be committed to living an intentional, active prayer life.

Active vs. Passive Spiritual Direction.  Spiritual direction unfolds in various ways and modes, often between the same director and directee, depending on the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  There are various traditions of direction and methods that are often associated with particular spiritual traditions and religious orders in the Church.  Some are more formal, others less formal.  Some are more directive, others more responsive.  Among all of these traditions and methods of direction, a good spiritual director will avoid the extremes: either of an overly directive and authoritative approach, or an overly passive and responsive approach.  A wise director will know when to listen and when to speak, when to challenge and when to console, when to clarify and define and when to leave room for mystery and questions.  It is important for the directee to have adequate trust in his or her spiritual director, transparently relating what is going on in his or her life of faith and being open and receptive to the guidance and suggestions offered by their director.  It can be tempting for the directee to try to compromise the role of the director by deciding that he or she is most aware of how what kinds of discussion, steps, or progress should be happening.  Certainly feedback and clear discussion of how things are going is critical, but it is also important for the directee to recognize that spiritual direction is not a relationship of equals.  The spiritual director is sought out because of his or her knowledge of the faith, experience, and prudence in walking the path to holiness.  In choosing a spiritual director, one humbly asks to be led and guided along the path of faith, trusting that the Lord is at work in the guidance offered by a faithful spiritual director.  If a directee cannot trust that the Lord Jesus is at work in guiding them through spiritual direction, it is time to find a new director.

What Should Not Happen In Spiritual Direction?

The aim of this post is to provide those who are seeking or receiving spiritual direction with a basic knowledge of how spiritual direction should and should not happen.  Unfortunately, there are too many in the Church who claim to offer spiritual direction but who are unqualified or unfit to direct others in the spiritual life.  Except in egregious cases, the leadership of the Church rarely makes any public indication regarding the fitness of particular priests, religious, or lay people to offer spiritual direction.  Even when rumors fly, priests or religious in a diocese would be hesitant to criticize the direction being offered by others, given that their knowledge is very limited because of the confidentiality of the relationship.  Furthermore, many dysfunctional modes of spiritual direction do not fall into clear boundary violations or immoral behavior, but instead provide the directee with an impoverished and unhelpful experience that does not help them grow in the spiritual life.  It is therefore very important that those who are seeking spiritual direction or who are in spiritual direction have clear expectations.  

Gossip and worldliness.  One of the great temptations in spiritual direction is for the very limited time of the conversation to be overtaken with gossip and discussion of worldly concerns.  This is especially a danger when the director and directee are overly familiar with one another and share many common relationships and experiences together.  While it is certainly true that the spiritual life cannot and should never be divorced from the practical realities of life, far too often these realities can entirely overshadow the workings of the Holy Spirit.  Particularly when we are feeling dry or distant from God and when our prayer life is weak, there is a great temptation to flee into the comfortable discussions of inter-personal dynamics, politics, and day-to-day concerns.  These areas of life may need to be briefly discussed in order to give context to a fruitful spiritual direction session, but always in reference to where the Lord is at work in our lives, how he is leading us and guiding us, and how we are responding to him.  Far too many spiritual direction sessions descend into gripe sessions or litanies of shared worldly concern, filled with gossip, hearsay, and detraction.  The transparency made possible by the confidential setting can sometimes lead the directee to feel that direction is where he or she can "spill their guts," giving voice to all frustrations, fears, anger, and resentment.  While such venting may occasionally be appropriate and needed in spiritual direction, if it becomes the major, defining part of it, we can be sure that such sessions are not being led by the Spirit.  Both director and directee have a responsibility to ensure that they focus their time together on God's grace at work - yes, sometimes looking at the obstacles - but focusing most intently on the path to holiness that is walked through personal sacrifice and prayer.

Counseling.  Another danger for spiritual direction lies in a confusion between the spiritual life and the mental health of the directee.  The goal of spiritual direction is to know, love, and serve the Lord in this world and the next. The goal of counseling is much more subdued: mental health.  Mental health is required for spiritual direction and can be improved by it, but it is a far cry from holiness of life. While it is certainly true that the spiritual and psychological are intimately connected, the kind of conversation and guidance needed for each is very distinct.  Spiritual direction is inherently relational in its orientation, having to do with the relationship between the directee and the Holy Trinity, the angels and saints, and the people who he or she interacts with each day.  These spiritual relationships and realities relate to and are heavily affected by our mental states, but are far more extensive than mere psychological phenomenon.  For this reason, spiritual direction sessions should not be dominated by the analysis of introspective experience divorced of reference to the transcendent.  It is important to give proper due to our interior states and emotional responses to what is happening around us, but spiritual direction must not remain on this psychological plain forever.  The goal of spiritual direction is not to better understand ourselves, but to better understand God and grow in union with him.  In doing so we will necessarily come to understand ourselves more fully, but this is secondary and a byproduct of the primary focus of the spiritual life: union with Christ.  Director and directee must pour their conversation through the sieve of our Lord's command: "Seek first the kingdom of God."  

Boundary violations.  A spiritual director who does not have the maturity or prudence to adequately direct another within proper boundaries can cause spiritual and emotional confusion and errors in those he or she directs, and in some cases cause spiritual and psychological trauma.  Reviewing appropriate ministerial boundaries in spiritual direction assists a directee to recognize if a spiritual director is acting inappropriately and placing them in compromised or damaging situation.  Common boundary violations in ministerial settings, including spiritual direction, are as follows:

•  Violations of confidentiality.  A spiritual director is bound to keep the content of each session in confidence and should never reference it outside of the bounds of spiritual direction unless it represents a serious threat to you or to another or involves abuse of a minor.  If your spiritual director publicly references things that you have discussed in direction, positive or negative, they have crossed this boundary and you should find another director.  It is critical that spiritual direction happen in the context of trust, allowing you to work through what is going on in your relationship with God and those around you without concern for where that information may end up.
• Inappropriate locations and times.  Spiritual direction should generally take place during business hours and in a professional or spiritual space.  Normally meetings should happen in a parish office or some part of a church complex.  Others should be around and, if possible, there should be windows or doors that open into a public space from the room where you meet.  It is not appropriate to meet for spiritual direction in a private home or late in the evening.  Nor is it appropriate to meet for spiritual direction in an informal setting like a restaurant or park.  If you would not meet for counseling in the setting, you should not meet for spiritual direction there either.  
• Inappropriate personal sharing by a spiritual director.  A spiritual director should never divulge his or her own intimate, personal struggles or issues in the context of spiritual direction, seeking counsel or support from his or her directee.  This is entirely inappropriate.  There may be circumstances when relating previous experiences or difficulties in a general manner can be helpful in providing guidance, but the spiritual director should always be very careful about volunteering personal information.  Is such information necessary or helpful to the directee?  Unfit spiritual directors can sometimes divulge personal information in an effort to establish a sense of vulnerability and trust with the directee, but this is a form of manipulation and places the directee in the very compromised position of feeling that they owe the director a similar vulnerability and trust that they may not be ready to give.  If a spiritual director demonstrates a pattern of disclosing personal information during sessions, he or she is not ready to direct others and it is important to end direction and find someone else.
• Speaking with inappropriate authority.  It is expected, as I noted above, that a directee will humbly receive the guidance and recommendations of a good and trustworthy spiritual director.  However, the authority of the spiritual director must remain within strict limits.  A spiritual director can never claim to know God's will for certain, or to be speaking on behalf of God.  He or she should never order or require a directee to take a particular course of action.  Examples of this misuse of authority would include ordering a directee to: enter the seminary, enter the convent, get married, not get married, get divorced, not get divorced, kick children out of the home, go avoid a wedding outside of the church, receive communion on the tongue, receive communion in the hand, etc...  A spiritual director should likewise never claim to know for certain who or what is influencing the interior life of his or her directee, or claim to have insight into his or her motives beyond what the directee has indicated.  He or she should refrain from definitive pronouncements and judgements about the character, nature, or future possibilities for a directee.  Any violations of these boundaries by a spiritual director are red flags and should result in ending spiritual direction.
• Manipulation by the spiritual director.  It is likewise a violation of proper boundaries for a spiritual director to in any way manipulate a directee.  Manipulation within the spiritual direction relationship can sometimes be quite subtle and difficult for a directee to identify.  The directee should become concerned if at any point the relationship begins to feel oppressive, obligated, exclusive, or all-encompassing.  A spiritual director should never use language of personal request, disappointment or gratitude regarding the spiritual life of a directee, for example "Promise me that you will not go there again."  "I must be a horrible spiritual director if you are making so little progress on this."  "I'm so grateful to God that you have come into my life and given me so much consolation!" These are examples of boundary violations that indicate a lack of maturity and prudence in the director.  They result when someone is consciously or unconsciously trying to meet their own needs through their ministry, rendering them unable to serve the needs of the directee.  These can be difficult director/directee relationships to break free of, because manipulation has caused the directee to feel a sense of obligation to the director, who will likely protest and resent any attempt to end direction.  They may also fear that the director could divulge confidential information or injure them in some other way.  If you find yourself in a manipulative spiritual relationship, it is important to seek out a good friend or guide who can help support you and guide you in finding your way out.  It may also be important to report the manipulative behavior to those with pastoral responsibility in the church, since manipulation is often the beginning of more serious forms of abuse.
•  Physical contact.  It should go without saying, but any intimate physical contact whatsoever in the context of spiritual direction should result in the immediate ending of direction.  In the case of emotional sharing by the directee, this is all the more true.  A weeping or emotional directee is vulnerable and fragile.  The desire to reach out in an embrace or to hold on to someone in this state is natural, but is exactly what a mature and prudent spiritual director realizes they should not do.  It is very easy for such gestures to be misinterpreted or to cause confusion.  What the directee needs in that moment is a compassionate and loving, stable presence with them, reassuring them with clear and healthy boundaries and helping them to turn to God for the healing and consolation they desire.  A hand on the shoulder or sideways hug on the way out the door may be appropriate in some cases, after the point of extreme vulnerability has passed.  But it is never appropriate to for the spiritual director to initiate physical contact in a one on one setting, particularly when the directee is disclosing things that are troubling or embarrassing.  If such contact happens, the directee should immediately let the spiritual director know that the contact is not welcome, should leave, and should consult a local priest or the diocese about whether the incident needs to be reported or not.  

Conclusion

The above reflections are meant to be a guide for those who are seeking spiritual direction in the Catholic Church today, both in terms of what they should expect to happen in spiritual direction and in terms of what they should not expect to happen.  These reflections are drawn from my own personal experience of spiritual direction and my experience as a priest for the last 12 years helping others to find the spiritual support that they need.  Certainly there is much that could be added and probably subtracted too.  I have tried to steer clear of giving my own personal preferences and to instead give the larger, more universal framework that should apply to all spiritual direction offered in the Catholic Church.  I am still learning, as I'm sure is the case for every priest, religious, or lay person who offers spiritual support to others.  We are not perfect, but we trust that our Lord can work through us despite our weakness.

Spiritual direction is a beautiful and fruitful gift that has been lived in the Church from the beginning.  Christ taught us that wherever two or more are gathered in his name he is in our midst.  As followers of Christ, it is critical that we safeguard and teach each generation about the treasure of spiritual direction and encourage and train good and capable spiritual directors.  Please feel free to email or comment if you have any thoughts about where adjustments or additions can be made to the above.  God bless you!

Earthly Tribes and Heavenly Hosts

“Teacher, we saw someone driving out demons in your name, and we tried to prevent him because he does not follow us.”

This seems like a reasonable request of Jesus that St. John makes in the Gospel today. Doesn’t it make sense that Jesus would be concerned if someone was using his name to carry out ministry who was not a follower of his?  There was no way to know what else he was saying or doing or if he might turn against them at some point.  We can imagine what the lawyers would do with something like this today, right?

I think it is important to have a little context.  In Mark’s gospel, John’s request comes immediately after we hear that the disciples were walking along behind our Lord talking about who was the greatest.  Jesus reprimands them for their worldliness and tells them that they should seek to serve, rather than lording authority over others.  Then, perhaps thinking he is on more solid ground, St. John brings up his question: what about this guy who isn’t even an apostle – who isn’t even on the team, and he is trying to claim he acts in the name and with the power of Jesus?  Surely he is on the outs, right?

The apostles are trying to figure out who has authority, who has power, who can be a legitimate witness – who is on the “team.”  They are deeply concerned about who is in charge, who has authority – who is exercising leadership.  The idea that someone who is not known to them is claiming authority makes them apprehensive and nervous. 

Why?  Ultimately, I think we can see that it has to do with control, right?  It is telling that John tells Jesus that the one casting out demons “does not follow us.”  Notice that he doesn’t say “does not follow you.”  What concerns him is not that the man is doing something against Jesus, but that he is not a part of their company – their group.  In this, he expresses a common earthly tribal tendency: to be concerned and suspicious of those who aren't part of or don’t feel compelled to answer to the tribe, those who are not “team players.”  The disciples, like most people, were accustomed to judging others based on the earthly tribe they belonged to, and to working hard to secure their own places in their own tribe. 

How things don't change!  Think about what is playing out now in our national politics and how Senators are so concerned to stay in their tribes – to not be caught out on their own.  They know that stepping out of line will be political suicide. 

And it's not just leadership.  The dynamic of social membership, of being a part of a tribe, effects each of us.  On a very visceral level, isn't it true that most people recoil at the idea of being outside of a social tribe or community.  We know that to be on the outs in a community is dangerous and makes someone vulnerable.  People outside of the circle don’t receive critical information, are vulnerable to rumors and slander, and are treated with distrust.  Being left out is probably the greatest fear most people deal with in the world – being marginalized, being overlooked, being shunned.

With a big mortgage and lots of bills to pay, it becomes increasingly difficult to advocate for decisions and principles in the workplace that would put us on the fringe.  When we need the help of teachers and professors in securing academic opportunities, it becomes risky to hold unpopular beliefs that will be perceived as out of touch or ignorant.  When we have children and grandchildren who we love and who love and admire us, it becomes very challenging to witness to beliefs or ideas that challenge their lifestyle choices and make them feel condemned. 

How many of us experience this, and so many other social challenges on a regular basis as we are trying to navigate living in a community?  How nerve-wracking is it to wonder if we are on our way to being marginalized and left out, especially when we know that such marginalization could mean a lot of pain and suffering for us and those we love?  The more earthly blessings that we have and the more attached to them we are, the harder it is to live with a serenity that is not constantly anxious about falling out of favor, being labeled as one of those who “does not follow us.”  How easy it is to compromise with the devil when we are motivated by this fear that we might be left out, that we might become irrelevant, forgotten. 

I think this is a great demon that our entire Church fights today.  The modern world is moving ahead and moving in a direction that is increasingly tribal and increasingly hostile to the teaching and witness of Christ.  And we feel the pressure, do we not?  It can feel almost on a visceral, survival level that our Church being pushed out of the social main stream and into irrelevant backwaters.

What does Christ have to tell us today?  To be courageous and to follow his example.  What is his example?  First of all, we must pray for increasing detachment from the goods of this world, and a decisive attachment to following him.  Such that we will let go of anything that would keep us from him – our hand, our eye – whatever keeps us from being close to Christ, from the detachment we need to be faithful, we must be willing to offer that courageous sacrifice with Christ on this altar. 
I do not say this lightly.  I know that for many of us, we would probably rather lose a hand or an eye than what we worry about losing: the closeness of a family member, a promising career, a group of friends…  We are not talking about trivial things. 

And yet, do we not know in our hearts that we cannot be authentic and credible witnesses to Christ in our families, our workplaces, our friendships, unless we are willing to run the risk of losing them for the sake of Christ?  There is no such thing as a cowardly Christian – because a Christian must always face the truth and live in love.  And that always requires sacrifice and suffering.  You cannot be a principled person if you are more worried about your earthly tribe than the heavenly host. 

This does not mean that we act imprudently or angrily pick fights with the culture of our time.  We should try to get along when we can.  We should always be humble and recognize that we might not be seeing a person or situation as it truly is.  We need to pray through every decision and work to discern where the Holy Spirit is at work an how he is guiding us.  We should always desire peace and concord.  We should seek unity and collaboration. 

We should work to find common ground and to increase understanding among peoples.  But all of this must be done with the awareness, as Jesus teaches us, that in the end we only answer to him.  In the end our earthly tribe only matters insofar as it helps us to grow closer to him and is an expression of the love we share in him.  Christ alone can give us true communion – love that is rooted in the truth and in generosity of heart.  We must go to him first, trusting that he will not abandon us and that he will gently guide us along the path that leads to eternal life and leads us, not to a mere temporary earthly tribe, but to an eternal communion of love with him and all of our brothers and sisters.

Discerning in War-Time

In the fall of 1939, as the Second World War raged, C.S. Lewis stood up in the church of St. Mary the Virgin in Oxford to give a sermon to returning students at the university.  The sermon is known to us as “Learning in War-Time:” an articulate defense of the timeless value of study and learning, even in the midst of the calamity of war.  He felt the need to speak to his students who were returning to their studies, questioning whether it was right or even possible to pursue knowledge in the midst of international events so dire and dramatic as the great war.  Should not classes have been canceled and everyone sent to the trenches to battle it out?

As American seminarians return to their studies this fall, they do so in the midst of a great calamity engulfing the U.S. Catholic Church.  The summer of 2018 has ignited what some fear may become a great “civil war.”  Revelations from the Pennsylvania Grand Jury Report, former Cardinal McCarrick’s resignation, and Archbishop Viganó’s letter have thrown the Church into disarray.  Thousands of lay faithful have called for resignations, priests have voiced frustration and anger, and bishops and cardinals are showing little unity or resolve as to how to face the crisis.  Battle lines seem to be forming across every level of the Church, as shrill voices call for war.  Pope Francis, who has been outspoken on so many issues, cannot or will not wade into the conflagration. 

What does a seminarian, or a man who is seriously discerning a vocation to the priesthood do in such a time, when the very ground beneath him rocks and sways?  Is authentic discernment possible in such a polarized and unpredictable terrain, or should the quest be put on hold?  To where can these men turn to find solid ground and sound guidance?

In answer to these critical questions, C.S. Lewis’ guidance to his embattled students in Oxford some 79 years ago offers some helpful insight.  Those who are discerning the priesthood today will find in his thoughts a helpful path forward as they seek to navigate these troubled times.

War is a New Revelation of an Old Enemy

“War creates no absolutely new situation: it simply aggravates the permanent human situation so that we can no longer ignore it.”   This principle, articulated by C. S. Lewis in his sermon, is certainly true in the case of the abuse crisis afflicting the Church.  The devastating revelations of this summer have thrust the reality of sinful and perverse clergy into the light of day, a reminder of just how sick and twisted, cowardly and duplicitous human beings can be – even those who are entrusted with great spiritual responsibility.  In the face of such horrific revelations, we run the very real risk of thinking that evil becomes real when it begins ‘trending’ or after it hits the 24 hour news cycle, and to think that it goes away once the coverage has ended.  But this is obviously a great illusion.   The evil one is always at work attacking and seducing priests and bishops and any other person he can get his claws into, and many times has succeeded.  The life of Judas Iscariot makes this very clear, as does that of St. Peter and so many other sinful Christians.  The reality of sin and malice and perversion is not new.  Our world is a spiritual battleground.  “Human life has always been lived on the edge of a precipice,” writes C.S. Lewis.  Christianity is a fighting religion. Christ came to save us from an all-too-real enemy, one that has always existed, and has always been “prowling like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.”  Christ, in turn, strengthens us to resist him, strong in our faith.  The fight against evil, against Satan, is a Christian duty whether there is public outrage or not, whether there are worldly consequences or not.  This summer’s revelations of the devil’s workings inside of the Church hierarchy should remind us of the larger spiritual battle that is being waged around us and spur us to recommit ourselves to fighting alongside Christ against evil, particularly in our own lives and in the areas of life where we have moral responsibility.  To the extent that they have responsibility or awareness of the Church, laity and clergy must take this battle against evil wherever it leads, even if it leads deep into the hierarchy.  Yet for most of us, our battle against evil plays out more directly and immediately in our own personal lives and in the lives of our family and community.  Those who are discerning the priesthood, whether living in the world or in a seminary, should be careful that the very public battle against evil now unfolding within the hierarchy not distract them from the hidden spiritual war they must fight against sin and temptation and evil in their daily lives.

Resisting the Drama of Conflict

Waging war can never be the goal of life.  War is always a means to an end, and as such must always be in the service of the good.  G. K. Chesterton once said that a moral soldier fights, "not because he hates who is in front of him, but because he loves who is behind him."   And yet, from the beginning of the fall of humanity, this requirement to defend the good, even sometimes through violence, has been twisted into something else entirely.  In every age and in our day there are many people for whom waging war becomes a way of life, and even something that they find enjoyable.  There is a "rush" of war, a kind of "euphoria" that many soldiers experience in surviving a life or death situation and coming out alive.  We can think of the many "professional" soldiers and mercenaries who have, over the centuries, become so twisted as to take pleasure in asserting their dominance by killing or torturing others, even innocent people. 

This can never be the case for a Christian soldier, no matter how many battles he must fight.  Any authentic crusade engaged in by a Christian must be a battle undertaken as a last resort to protect or secure a good.  In order to keep this perspective, the Christian soldier must often allow himself to be reminded about what and who he fights for.  He must make sure to get his head up above the fight often and take a breath of the clean air of truth, beauty, and goodness.  One cannot be all fight and remain a true Christian soldier for long. 

What does this mean for someone who is discerning in the midst of Church conflict?  It means that balance must prevail.  No, we should not ignore the conflicts and troubles that assail the Church, sticking our heads in the sand.  Yet at the same time, it is a spiritual disease to be constantly searching for enemies to slaughter, to the detriment of neighbors to be served.  Just as a traumatized soldier discerns less and less who is friend or foe and can fall prey to a kind of blood lust that turns even against his own allies, so also a Christian who constantly immerses himself in the scandals and failures of the Church can begin to thrash about the pews, injuring those of simple or weak faith or innocent devotion.  How often those who make it their life’s work to destroy every evil that threatens the true faith end up destroying the faith of many people around them and their own faith in the process?

I have watched this play out in the Church among faithful Catholics and clerics.  Injured, sometimes grievously, by the sins of someone within the Church or frustrated by the weakness of its members, they begin to grow more and more obsessed with calling out the sin and corruption within her.  This preoccupation grows and becomes an obsession, blocking out their ability to see any good or to enjoy the goodness of life in the Church.  Nothing seems as important to them as fighting the enemy that they are convinced threatens at every corner or lies hidden in every closet.  A kind of ecclesiastical paranoia takes over, removing their ability to trust anyone in the Church.  Those who dare express joy in the face of their desperate shadowboxing are viewed with suspicion.  Peacefulness and contentment is treasonous to their all-consuming cause.  These poor souls pile upon their shoulders an ever-increasing weight of darkness, sin, and misery, and become bowed down and resentful of those unwilling or incapable of doing the same.  Their lives are swallowed up by war against evil – all that remains is the fighter, but a fighter who can never return home because he no longer recognizes the home he fights for.  Consumed by hatred for the devil, he has lost his love for Christ.

Like the emperor Constantine learned, the Christian must keep his eyes fixed on the sign by which sin and death is conquered and affix it like a shield before him.  He must recognize that every battle in this world is, in the end, a battle for his heart.  To win an earthly victory but lose one’s soul in the process is exactly the sort of tragic triumph that the devil relishes more than any other.  The Christian who is discerning in wartime must be very careful to guard his heart, ensuring that through prayer, leisure, friendship and loving service it remains warm and beating.  As C.S. Lewis encouraged his students in the midst of World War II: they should not feel guilty or lazy for living a normal life in England during the midst of the fighting; for that life was exactly what men and women across the channel were dying to protect.  In their daily study and normal routines of life, they were a reminder to the soldiers in the field of who they were and why they fought.  So too, Christians must remain faithful to their daily work of prayer and service in the midst of ecclesial conflict.  In fact, they should be especially vigilant to the normal, daily life of the Church: their prayers and reception of the sacraments (particularly the Eucharist and confession), their study, their engagement at the parish and in the corporal works of mercy, their attentiveness to their primary family and ministry responsibilities, and their diligence at work.  As Christ the Lord taught in so many parables and through his own example, our task is to follow the will of our Heavenly Father by loving him and our neighbor.  If we are faithful in this task, our victory is assured even in what seems a disastrous earthly defeat.

Prioritizing the Immediate Circumstances of your Life

C.S. Lewis raises in his sermon a critical question of discernment: how should students know, in such a trying time, whether they were called to leave behind the tranquility of the classroom and take up arms against the enemy?  When it is clear that some are called to front lines of the battle, how does one who is capable of being a soldier determine whether or not he should enlist?  Lewis’ response to this question is quite simple and straightforward:

A mole must dig to the glory of God and a cock must crow. We are members of one body, but differentiated members, each with his own vocation. A man's upbringing, his talents, his circumstances, are usually a tolerable index of his vocation. If our parents have sent us to Oxford, if our country allows us to remain there, this is prima facie evidence that the life which we, at any rate, can best lead to the glory of God at present is the learned life.

Healthy discernment looks to immediate circumstances as a key indicator for what God is asking of us at this time.  Yes, it may very well be that there is a great need for troops out on the battlefield, but that does not mean that we are called to take our place among them.  Discernment requires a clear-headed look at where we stand: who are the people, the circumstances, and the implications of the terrain that we walk upon?  For in the end, the raging of even a great war not far removed from us has relatively little bearing on what we are called by Christ to do each day.  A mother in Syria, just miles from the bloody fighting and bombardment still finds her day comprised of waking at a regular hour, assisting the children with getting ready for the day, cooking breakfast, shopping for food, visiting the neighbors, cleaning the home, loving her husband, taking care of elderly parents, etc…  The same is the case for the butcher down the street, or the engineer a few doors down.  Society does not come to a screeching halt, even in the midst of conflict, because our daily lives depend directly on the simple efforts of others, and their lives depend directly on the simple efforts that we make. 

In discerning what to do in a time of conflict, then, the answer is usually quite simple: do what is needed of you in the place and time where you are, just as you normally would.  It can be assumed, barring exceptional circumstances, that where you are is where God needs you to be.  If you were needed elsewhere, someone would come to tell you – someone would make a request – there would be a sign.  If that has not happened, then stick with what lies before you and do it as well as you can, humbly offering your efforts to God.  If you are a layperson raising a family, do your best to live a life of prayer and virtue that you can share with your spouse and children and seek to grow and deepen your knowledge and love of God.  If you are a young person in high school or college, be diligent in your prayer and study and in building up strong and healthy friendships.  If you are a priest, look to those entrusted to your care in your assignment and care for them with as much skill and generosity as you can.  If you are trying to discern your call in life inside or outside of the seminary, continue to discern as you would otherwise: pray, read, speak with wise guides, and be generous and courageous in following the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

How do you know if it is your time to fight?  How can you ensure that you are not being a coward and seeking solace in selfish trivialities?  When should evil be called out?  When should letters be written?  When should demands be made and warnings issued?  We must ask ourselves constantly: What is Jesus asking of me?  What will he hold me responsible for at the end of my life?  How much do I, in good conscience, need to say or do in the face of this evil?  Is it enough for me to pray and to go about diligently doing my work, or must I step into the conflict to protect one who is innocent or to strengthen one who is failing?   Can I engage in this battle without neglecting the primary responsibilities of my life or greater goods that I could be pursuing?  Is this fight the best use of my gifts, my time, my energy, or should this battle be left to someone more capable than I? 

In the end, I would submit that even in times of great conflict and turmoil in the Church the overwhelming majority of the People of God are not called to be in the midst of the fight.  Most of us are called to the daily work of sowing and reaping, of shaping and building, of putting out into the deep and lowering our nets for a catch.  This is the work God sets before us as the pathway to heaven, the talent entrusted to our care until he returns.  Only rarely are sheep called to take up arms and fight off the wolves.  Normally we are called to find the green pastures and to stay close to one another and to our Good Shepherd.

The Three Ways Conflict Wages War on Discernment

In what I think is the most helpful section of his sermon, C.S. Lewis examines important mental exercises that he says are important defenses against three particular ways that war threatens the scholar, and in our case, the discerner.  The three enemies that Lewis identifies are excitement, frustration, and fear.

Excitement.  Lewis writes: “If we let ourselves, we shall always be waiting for some distraction or other to end before we can really get down to our work. The only people who achieve much are those who want knowledge so badly that they seek it while the conditions are still unfavorable. Favourable conditions never come.”

There will always be something urgent to distract us from doing God’s work, particularly in our time of mass communication and social media.  Drama abounds, and it is particularly easy for one who cares deeply about the Church to think that following every up and down of the latest ecclesiastical crisis is a kind of Christian virtue.  But it is not.  At the end of our lives, Christ will not quiz us on how many cardinal’s names we know or on which bishops have been the most courageous in their teaching.  He will ask us about the responsibility that he entrusted to us, the talents that he left in our care.  C.S. Lewis acknowledges that in war time there are some events that one simply cannot ignore – certainly this is the case for the horrible revelations about the Church in the U.S. over this summer.  There is nothing wrong with being aware of what is happening and of doing what we can to contribute to a positive and good response through prayer and good works.  However, we must always be on guard against things that disquiet and distract us from doing the primary tasks that God has set before us. 

Frustration.  Here, C.S. Lewis speaks of the heightened sense in war-time of not having time to finish our work, or of one’s work not being able to come to fruition.  Again, Lewis points out that this sense of the tenuousness of our efforts, heightened in war, is the manifestation of a reality that is part of life even in the most peaceful of times.  The future is never ours to control – it belongs to God.  We never have any guarantees about what will happen as a result of our efforts.  Lewis encourages us to remember that we pray each day for “our Daily Bread,” and to keep our eyes fixed on the work of each day, entrusting the future to God.  This is a critical lesson for all of us, and especially one who is working to discern his or her vocation: do the good today, and trust that God will lead you where you need to go and will bring your efforts to happy effect.  Scandals and conflict in the Church do not change the fundamental obscurity of what the future holds – there is still as much opportunity to become a saint as there ever was and ever will be.  God’s will is not circumscribed by the natural order of things and his ways are not our ways.  We must do the best we can with each day that is given us, trusting that in the end nothing offered to God will be wasted.  Even though our efforts may be frustrated in this world, we know that his eternal designs will never be frustrated.

Fear.  In the midst of conflict, fear raises its ugly head to menace even the strongest of us.  As we see our Church racked by sin and division and beset by a thousand scandals, a deep inner anxiety can begin to take hold.  What will become of the Catholic faith?  How will people hear the good news of Jesus Christ?  Who will provide the sacraments?  How many innocent people will suffer because of this great scandal?  How long will this go on, and how much can people endure?  

Fear is a natural and good response to a threat.  Yet we must think clearly about the true nature of the threat posed to the Church by any scandal.  The Church is not a human institution that survives based on institutional strength or efficiency.  Her presence on earth is of divine origin and is sustained by the very life of Jesus Christ, continually poured out among us.  His life and his mission of loving service is so much greater, more complex, more beautiful, and more compelling than any particular earthly instantiation of the Church.  The liturgy of heaven is only faintly echoed in our paltry liturgies on this earth.  The truth of Christ’s teaching is only clumsily, disjointedly, and dimly hinted at in the teaching of the Church.  The beauty of life and the sacredness of the human person, made in the image and likeness of God, has not even remotely been captured by the thousands upon thousands of human attempts at creating the beautiful in fine art and music and architecture.  And our shepherds, our leaders in faith – they are generally miserable wretches, just like St. Peter and the first batch were.  They can barely get out of their own way, and we disciples who are caught up in our own selfish concerns only trip them up more.  The Church is a big ol’ sinking ship, and she always has been.  Jesus didn’t make the Braque of Peter watertight, he made the water holy and lifegiving so that when she sinks we will not die.  The Church was given the gift of eternal life in Christ, her head, but that does not mean that she no longer dies in this world.  Indeed, if Christ himself had to die in order to rise to new life, so too his body the Church must suffer death as part of her earthly pilgrimage.  Indeed, the Church has died a thousand deaths with Christ already and sunk beneath the waves of sin more times than can be numbered.  C.S. Lewis reminded his scholars:

All the animal life in us, all schemes of happiness that centered in this world, were always doomed to a final frustration. In ordinary times only a wise man can realize it. Now the stupidest of us know. We see unmistakable the sort of universe in which we have all along been living, and must come to terms with it. If we had foolish un-Christian hopes about human culture, they are now shattered. If we thought we were building up a heaven on earth, if we looked for something that would turn the present world from a place of pilgrimage into a permanent city satisfying the soul of man, we are disillusioned, and not a moment too soon.

Yes, Christ dwells with us and is alive in his Church, which is his body.  But Christ is also infinitely greater than any earthly institution, any earthly epoch of his Church.  Because of this, we should fear no earthly power, nor any evil that rails against the Church in this world.  Jesus will continue to provide us with his teaching and sacraments, no matter how weakened the power of his earthly bride might become.  Compared to his power and majesty she has always been weak and miserable.  What makes the Church strong and beautiful is not who she is, but whose she is.  The Church’s life is Christ, and so the various deaths and sufferings endured in this world can only be for her a deeper sharing in the life of her beloved.  For those for whom life is Christ and death is gain, there is no need to fear.